Communication is part of your life day by day, moment by moment. Communication is the bridge between you and all others with whom you relate.

You can walk away from a conversation feeling empowered, uplifted and happy. Or, you can walk away from a conversation, despite all sincere efforts, feeling completely misunderstood, frustrated, belittled or depressed.

Words can separate, isolate and create distance, or words can connect and create trust, love and warmth. Words have an impact on how we behave and what we create. Language has a vibration that touches the body.

Communication in healing and counseling

In the areas of healing and counseling, the language of the communicator is the conduit between the client and the healing or changing process. The relationship between the health care giver and patient is one of the most important assets for healing.

The therapeutic effect of communicating understanding, trust and intimacy is tremendously powerful. Our society is moving through a powerful time of technological growth that is increasing complex, stressful and full of anonymity. Many of us feel overwhelmed and experience an overload of information and daily demands. The 21st Century calls us to find new ways of dealing with our challenges.

The necessity of conscious communication

An increase in human consciousness is definitely required to meet the growing needs of today. For human beings to interact and communicate consciously is more important than ever, as effective communication is an essential element for dealing with the challenges of our changing world. Indeed, effective communication is the thread with which the fabric of consciousness is woven. The quality of the thread determines the quality of the fabric. Our quality of life is directly related to the quality of our communication!

Personal journey and discovery

I have always been interested in how people create the quality of their lives. Fifteen years ago, after graduating as an ND in Germany and while practicing naturopathy, I soon found myself more interested in why people manifest diseases than which remedy to use to cure them.

I started to listen to what people said about themselves and their beliefs. I observed the thinking process that accompanies a person’s ability to heal themselves or not.

For example: Aunt Ruth, who was not able to get out of her depression, used to say, “It’s too late.” Old Henry, in the rehab clinic where I worked, believed, “I am incurably sick.” I observed that healing rarely happened as long as a person had negative beliefs functioning. An AIDs patient who surprisingly cured his symptoms said, “Every second of my life is delicious and I drink each one with joy.”

It is very interesting to me that a large percentage of the effects of communication remain in the unconscious. Most of the time, we don’t really know why we feel the way we do after someone says what they say. We may not even remember exactly what was said. However, how we feel or think afterwards reveals that the communication did influence us.

Words and thoughts have a great impact on our body and on how we feel. The way we listen and speak directly communicates to the subconscious and elicits responses. It has become evident to me that language really does have a vibration that touches the body. Language truly impacts how we behave and what we create.

Learning and applying NLP

I began to ask myself how can I communicate more consciously and effectively? The most interesting answers were given to me about ten years ago by a body of knowledge known as NLP (Neurolinguistic Programming). What I really liked about NLP was that it elaborated so precisely how we function.

After 13 years of experiencing many versions of psychotherapy, I enjoyed the crispness and directness of the NLP model in both therapy and communication. I was surprised that this model offered such a direct route to clear, testable, physiological results. Never before had I received such a clear explanation about the uniqueness of each individual process. No other model I had previously encountered demonstrated such a high level of acceptance, appreciation and respect for the individual.

I finally understood the difference between a sensory experience and an interpretation of that experience made by the subjectivity of the mind. All of a sudden, I deeply understood why people mis-communicate and what it is that is needed to create the bridge between different cultures, conditionings and beliefs.

Impact of communication

I am now able to more quickly and powerfully evoke discoveries and changes that used to take a lot of effort and hardship. NLP was, and still is, a wonderful discovery for me. I like to think of it as a science that leads a person back to their original integrity in an easy and fun fashion.

These communication tools show you how to step out of your own thinking process and how to build bridges between different worlds. To learn to speak from a different place on the inside – a larger and more spacious space – facilitates not only a loving trust but skillful use of the processes of the mind to inspire healing.

Words can open the way to a change in thinking. They can touch places inside that need attention. Language can be applied in a way that facilitates powerful therapeutic effects.

Real-life examples of NLP in action

Again, Aunt Ruth provides us an example. My first NLP trainer said to her, “Maybe this depression is acting as a message from your unconscious mind, which wants to motivate you to do something different?” When she heard that, Aunt Ruth’s eyes, for the first time in weeks, began to sparkle.

In the rehab process with old Henry, I was able to address what was going on at his core and say to him, “One part of you might think that what you have is incurable, but the part of you that brought you here and is making you attend this therapy does know of the possibility to heal, doesn’t it? Can we pay attention to this part in you?” Amazingly, a tear rolled down Henry’s face.

Conclusion: The value of effective communication

Wouldn’t it be very helpful to be able to speak to others in a way that would help them emphasize what they have rather than what they don’t have? Wouldn’t it be precious to have tools to re-direct thinking in a way that helps all of us go where we want to go? Isn’t it fascinating to realize that communication is a never-ending process of learning about how people function and, at the same time, a continuous learning about oneself?

Communicating effectively is a golden thread weaving through my life and work. Language applied consciously and with true care continues to heal my own life as well as the lives of others in many ways. I remain deeply grateful and passionate about sharing the kind of language that touches.